Sly Cooper: The Female's Touch
by Ye Oldest Cooper
Summary: One night, Carmelita and Penelope both take themselves and respectable partners to a great new resteraunt in Cannes. However, their deeply buried personal issues start to rise up, and along with advances from pervy bar staff, one question stands strong: "WILL THEIR PROBLEMS BE RESOLVED?" (takes place just before Thieves In Time) [My second story: please love/hate] Now complete!
1. Carmelita

_**Sly Cooper: The Female's Touch**_

_CARMELITA P.O.V:_

"_**Look at him. This man is mine! His name: Sly James Cooper. 'Sly' I here you say? 'Why, isn't that a ridiculous name? Is that what's on his birth certificate as well?' My guess is that it's short for Sylvester, but either way, I could love a heart like if it belonged to a man called 'Manure'. OK maybe not, but you get the idea. This is the Anniversary of our relationship…this relationship I made very nearly single-handedly: through almost mean methods but still, it was made nonetheless.**_

_**Here we are now, sat together, in this beautiful French hotel, in the penthouse suite for 2 nights on our days off from working with Interpol. We've heading out to dinner. I love it when this happens – the whole restaurant waitress team look at him, and even give us a greater service than we need, just because of him. But anyway, I'm side-tracking. We're off to dinner, and let's see what conversational masteries will be flying over my, and everyone else's, heads tonight…"**_

This restaurant was the jewel in the crown, of this place. Translates to a layman as the 'Shangri-la Bliss', and is located just inside Cannes. It is a many storey building, filled with everything imaginable for a budding couple to embed within French high-culture while also maintaining an intimate and romantic time together in this place. Perfect for the impersonal yet highly sensual Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox, who walked into bar looking like the namesake Shangri-la Bliss, in her little black dress – classic, but strangely never something she was overly associated with; in the mind of Captain Cooper, she was associated with that smoking hot gun she always keeps in a holster on her person. Then there was Captain Sly/'Sylvester' James Cooper. In the years Sly had faked his amnesia, Interpol had (wisely) decided as a collective that to try and regain the said personality and memories and then imprisoning him would be a waste of money and resources, and at Inspector Fox's insistence hired him into the force as a Constable. The Raccoon was a fast learner and soon he had enough experience and expertise under the badge of the law to be made a Captain in the Interpol services…good lord, what would his ancestors be thinking? He did bust criminals the same way he had before, but no longer taking the rewards anymore. Anyway, just as the Fox was luring all the limp-tongued ogling from the old sugar daddies in this crowd, he was driving all those girls crazy with his look. His athletic figure, with every definition and ripple of muscle was clearly visible even through that full tuxedo – jacket, waistcoat, shirt, bowtie: the works. Carmelita always gets angry when she sees this attention bestowed upon her partner. He liked it however: she gets all fired up, and that's just great for the bedroom later.

Sitting down, Sly is the first to start the conversation:

"Anything on your mind at all Carmelita – besides what to order of course" he said with that smooth, cool American tone that became as recognisable as the cane he used for thieving, or the calling-card he used to leave behind.

"Well…I've been given a new case to focus on – there's that. Erm…the Black Mamba gang's operation is being shut down based on evidence we recovered at their latest hit and we're being commended for that. And I quite like the King Oyster platter please. With a nice crisp white maybe."

"You've been put on a new assignment? We only took down 'Marley' Mamba and his cartel last month: what else could they possibly have to throw at you?"

"Well…there are these totally loco rumours of highly sort-after gems of the black market being sold off here in France. Interpol's put me on command of the whole affair. If I get this right, maybe one day we'll both be Captains. Captain Sylvester and Inspector Carmelita: has a nice ring to it does it?"

Sly paused for a second, and a little somersault went his heart. Captain Carmelita certainly had a nice ring to it…and besides, she'd always wanted the Promotion. The King Oyster platters showed up: 2 dozen Oysters, each the size of a hand, tasting like food fit for a King of a great empire. Here though, it was two royalty of the law getting to feast upon it. The wine also was highly delicious. The fox could tell that the Raccoon was enjoying it a lot (Sly was always a wine person, it was better for his health and athletic physique than beer or lager). This smile was soon gone though.

"Another thought of mine was maybe we could start a family"

As if in a moment of pathetic fallacy, a pair of waitresses walked into one another, and the food they were both carrying flew straight over them, completely soaking them and leaving everything in a fluster; those two waitresses represented Sly's conflicting feelings, and said mess over them is how he was feeling right now. Family was a big part of his life – in fact it was his whole life. Even though he had left the Cooper family legacy behind him, and in his hands of his old friend Bentley Wiseturtle, the thought of his old lineage always flowed through his brain. Wow, it's been years since he last saw Bentley…

Sly quickly reacted, but it wasn't quite the reaction that Carmelita was hoping for.

"A family? Shouldn't we have think about the right time for marriage before even having kids? Imagine the difficulty explaining to the office!"

"Difficulty…you think what? You'd think it would be easier for two officers of the law to spend a small sum of money on a Wedding reception then honeymoon before having kids?"

"Well…stability is always important in a child's upbringing. Having one out of wedlock would only add uncertainty to his life…if my parents were here, they'd think wedlock was something I should adhere to"

"Yeah, well…if MY parents were here, they'd be sure I had kids with someone a little more open-minded…and one who looked less like rat!"

"What's wrong with my look? Surely you could agree we would have fantastic looking offspring. They'd catch all the attention in playgroup you'd say?"

Carmelita had never wanted a family until she finally became certain about the man she'd fallen in love with. This was it. It was common-research in the world that said that the male of the relationship was the gene that decided the species of the offspring – she therefore knew she'd have raccoon kids, but maybe some slightly foxier than their father – but still, it was a big deal within their society. Marriage was one extra problem to add to that cauldron of potential carnage.

Sly went to pour the pair a drink from the wine bottle, starting with his beautiful date.

"Look Foxy" That was his nickname for her. Just as Ringtail suited him quite appropriately, Foxy definitely summed her up "I wish my parents would be here to see this – me talking to a beautiful lady about the chances of grandchildren for them, and how good old Sly's done OK for himself…" Sly stopped, as the wine had reached the bottom. He stood up "Carmelita, I'll be right back. We'll just be getting the second bottle"

"Second? At 2000 Euros?"

"I'm paying. Just stay put, we'll finish this conversation very soon"

Sly walked to the bar, as the very flirtatious barmaid bunny came to the counter. "Bonjour stranger, anything you need for me to do?"

"Yes. My date and I would like another bottle of 1800's White Wine please"

"…OK."

The bunny hopped into the wine cellar to make the find for this handsome stranger. Sly felt around in his pocket. The talk of marriage had come at a very awkward moment for him.

Back at the table however, Carmelita had caught someone's eye.

An off duty waiter – all of whom were Peacocks, each possessing a rather eye-catching plumage – had sat beside her.

"How you doing, pretty lady" The man's accent was English, and although Carmelita was fiercely loyal to her partner, she could already feel herself swaying a tad.

"My name's Carmelita. Maybe you'd be wise to use it"

"I'm not wise at all – that's why I'm a waiter. And the name's Sebastian…pretty lady"

Sly waited as the bottle came to his hands. His pocket-watch held all he needed to pass his time – a picture of him and Carmelita dancing underneath the Goddess statue during their operation to steal the Clockwerk wings from Rajan all those years ago…true, it had been used for malicious intent against the pair, but it reminded his thieving self of a happier time. The bunny hopped back, with that glorious white in her hands. Sly solemnly took the bottle from her grip. Just before he turned back to see his date with another man, he noticed that the bottle had a name and number written onto the label: "Beatrice, 07889590567 Call Me".

Sly turned in anger "I said I was with a date!"

"Well…" Beatrice slowly spoke "Judging by the way Seb's playing with her over there, she possibly ain't the loyal type"

Sly turned back to watch the Peacock and the Fox make flying conversations, and an anger built the kind of which he hadn't felt before…the talk of family had got to him.

"She's as much the dishonest type" Sly said "As I am the submissive type!"

Sebastian took Carmelita's hand, and pulled it towards his lips. The Inspector resisted very slightly, but still the Peacock kept pulling "Get off me, you great ugly bird!" She yelled.

"Oh please madam! I'm worth a little more than that. How about you give me what I'm worth in my room later…or better still…" He dragged the cop to her feet, but the hundred other guests alone did nothing to help "…you could give it to me now! I've got something REAL hard to give you"

"I've got something hard for your face!" Came an American accent from behind him

"Huh?"

WHACK!

The Peacock was fell by that punch that finally did draw the audience's attention. Cooper drew his badge, and the Peacock trembled in fear, yet was still able to pull himself to his feet and face the Raccoon. Sebastian turned to unleash a deadly kick, but Sly – using his thief training – caught the kick and knocked him back to the floor.

"You mind what you're doing with Carmelita. She is a lady after all"

"Piece of dirt, rat! I'll get the police on your butt, and watch you squirm"

"Pal" Sly said, revealing his Interpol badge "I'm with the police, and in the book, this classes as 'interfering with two crimes', one of which is assaulting an officer"

Sebastian looked around at all the staff we were looking at him. He had no plan for saving himself from this angry cop, and her boyfriend. "Fine" he said submissively "I'll find some other pretty lady, and let her know how I feel!" He walked off, trying to keep his head up but being unable with the shame of being bested by a rat.

Sly sat down next to the shaken up Carmelita. She saw the number on the bottle, but she could see that Sly had rebuffed the advances the same way she'd rebuffed Sebastian's ways. Sly took her hand, supportively, and looked happily into her beautiful eyes.

"Look Foxy. I'm sorry about that earlier, but the subject of family is a big issue for me. It shaped my desire to work with the police for God sake – how big an influence can you get?"

"Yes you're right. But…marriage is as big a deal as any of that! And what would my parents say if they found out I was marrying a Raccoon?"

"What would mine – if they were still here – if I was having children out of wedlock?"

The two comments seemed to create this fantastic stalemate across the table. But then Sly reached into his pocket and revealed a small box, putting it upon the table with a nervous sigh. He opened it to face in Carmelita's direction, showing a ring of spectacular beauty: a beauty Sly intended could only be matched by the lady who would hopefully end up wearing it.

"I love you Carmelita. I want you to understand that I love you as much as my own family, and that is why I want to say this" He paused for an extra breath "One want to you to have my children as much as you want me to have yours…but only a compromise"

"Yes, what is it…anything!" Carmelita Fox was going to be a mother, a great honour for any lady at this time and career position.

"I want you to accept our engagement. So that when they begin to arrive, we can get married. Best of both worlds here, what do you say?"

…

…

The crowd had seen the gleaming diamond within the gold ring – thin and classy, yet bold and eye-catching – being removed from its case, and immediately knew what it meant, so had turned to look. Silence hung in the air as Sly awaited her idea.

"Yes Sylvester. I agree with everything you've said; why and how would I reject you now?"

Sly took his new fiancé by the hand and pulled her close to him…and embraced in a kiss, as everyone looked on and cheered. As Carmelita slipped on the ring, Sly looked off at another table, and saw a sight he could scarcely believe: it was his friend, Bentley Wiseturtle! He was sat less than a couple of metres from his position, and he was with his own love Penelope Mouse! This was the first he'd seen of them in many, many months…he wondered how well their own experiences of this place were, and how much significance it held for them both. But for the while, his new fiancé mattered, as she looked upon the glowing light upon her hand and thought of the future they could only dream about for now.


	2. Penelope

_**Sly Cooper: The Female's Touch**_

_PENELOPE P.O.V:_

"_**As my Bentley would say about me I hope, he is my squared radius multiplied by Pi – making me whole in every way I could hope. Sounds soppy, possibly, but it's true. Sorry reader, introductions: my name is Penelope Tesla Mouse, and that is Bentley Wiseturtle and he is my boyfriend. This time last year was the time we became 'acquainted": I met him where him and his criminal gang acquired my assistance with gaining entrance to a great place called the Cooper Vault. The operation to get out went worse than to get in, and Sly Cooper, leader of the gang, has gone missing. Bentley found him a couple of months ago, so don't worry, he's doing fine. Just as he's doing great, me and my shell-boy are doing better! We're close to completing a secret new project that I hope can revolutionise the world! To celebrate, Bentley has booked something extra nice for us: this great new up-market restaurant in Cannes, France. Part of a great new hotel, SO EXCITED to be spending this time with him! Better get ready!"**_

And so, Penelope Mouse and Bentley Wiseturtle showed up in the mist of the Shangri-La Bliss restaurant…and the eyes were immediately cast upon the turtle. It was common in these places to see rich old fat cats with the pretty young girls on their arms like diamonds…what was never an occurrence was for a nerdy looking cripple turning up with a lady – ANY lady, not just a pretty one. Penelope was the perfect comfort blanket however, and in a long and elegant red dress, that's what she was to Bentley as she boosted his esteem and enabled him to keep his head up.

As the Bentley and Penelope wheeled and walked passed the other guests in the vast space, Sebastian the Peacock leaned in to his fellow Peacock waiter.

"My guess is that bald-headed turtle gets special disability parking! That's the only reason why that should be possible!"

"Look at this way though Seb; the boss pays out bonus money to us if we can pull a date away from their date this night…and right now, Mousey over there is just itching-for-a-switching right now!"

"Yes Ben – you're right. Looks like I'm getting that bonus tonight!"

"Cool with me. I've already got enough bonuses the previous night to pay for a whole weekend away in Cairo for me and the family. Anything extra and my wife will think I'm soliciting or something"

Sebastian and Ben looked up, as Penelope and Bentley took their seats. And it had to be said that whilst Penelope looked striking, Bentley had made an effect upon some of the other guests. He was in a suit, grey with a slight reflective tint to it, with fat black tie and label and pocket watch: he called the whole attire his 'shell-suit' and Penelope always found that enough to chuckle with him; no matter how many times he said it. The geek-sheek pair sat underneath the glistening central chandelier, as they held the menus looking for an order that suited Bentley's many allergies and Penelope's usually small appetite.

"You know Bentley, I was thinking."

"Something you do very well my sweet"

Penelope smiled once again. This guy had gotten her so better than any other guy she'd ever known before or even since this.

"Well, I've completed the calculations for the time machine. By tomorrow morning, I hope to have a fully renewable supply of power that could never run out at all, and then the following day, we can begin refining it so it can be used a vehicle as small as a car…so my question was this"

"Sure, what is it?"

"What do you intend to do with this time machine once we're done with it?"

Bentley sat up, looked over the top of the menu at Penelope. He had to be honest – with her…he'd not for one single second considered the motive for doing what he was doing. Was he doing it just to make a point of his and her intellect? Was he going to change something in his past, so he could have parents, or the ability to walk still? Did he want to see great questions of the world? Penelope seemed a bit despondent about the lack of ambition when she did hear all this, but she had her own ideas.

"Well…if we paten it, we could sell it as a tool to scientific institutes. They could do wonders with it we could never…"

"…what? Give the device away? No, I could never trust the world with something such as this!"

"Well what is it then, Bentley?" Penelope sharply snapped, for the first time ever "To have it on a mantle, like one of those pathetic things you stole in your Cooper gang days? Or is there going to be something more out of it?"

"Yes, there is…just wait up, I'll think of something…"

"NO Bentley, you won't! You'll either make something of this great achievement we've spent a year designing, or just forget it, and me along with it!"

Bentley recoiled in shock. Since when was his little mouse this vicious and mean? "Penelope…give me time, I'll think of something, I've read on these types of situations before" He said as a tear rolled down past his glasses, and he wheeled himself off to the Disabled toilets.

Sebastian took that whack to the face really hard, and now was left ashamed by being beaten by a rat. "I'll find some other pretty lady, and let her know how I feel!" He said, walking with a bruised face. As he walked away, he glanced his eyes onto Penelope, sitting by herself, sitting in contemplation…

Bentley, in the largish space that a Disabled toilet offers, had already drawn up a plan of how to refine the time-machine. This detailed diagram included how the device and power-output could be merged together, and how anything else integral can be placed directly onto the vehicle. This had taken no long at all the genius turtle. Then he pulled out a very small, post-it note sized scrap of paper, with the title 'Why I'm doing this". This one was going to take a little longer, but it was necessary to prove his love to Penelope.

OK, he has the first reason: find the very first Prehistoric turtles. Ah well, if it is reason enough then Penelope wouldn't have a problem with it. Suddenly, he had a second idea – one that maybe wouldn't have any moral repercussions. He quickly wrote it down, and rushed back outside.

Penelope had placed her order, and Sebastian – holding ice to his bruised face – watched on, as Bentley hurriedly wheeled himself back to his space at the table. All the guests were looking up at this brave Raccoon, who'd defended his lady before sweetly proposing to her and Bentley joined them in their approval…he had to be honest, he didn't recognise the Raccoon completely, but the fox was familiar enough for him to work out who it was. Bentley raised a smiled, before turning to his own dear love.

"Look, Penelope, I've come up with two things we could use the time machine for. Both of them are completely safe and nil of consequences!"

"That's great! Look, I'm sorry about that outburst earlier, I just got…attached to what we've been doing, and whatever you think is right to be done with the machine is alright with me as well"

"Good, well hear me out on this then. We can't alter events in the past because the present will be changed…so why don't we go to the future and if something's not gone right there, then we can change it in our present!"

"I like the sound of that"

Sebastian now had removed the icepack from his face, and had the order in his hands as he approached his new intended item of prey. He placed the food down on the table.

"So madam, that's a bottle of 1800's red, and a Mushroom soup with croutons and cream sauce…" He looked up at Bentley "And I don't think the cripple's put an order down yet, if I'm right"

Bentley looked up, aghast at this comment "Excuse me?"

"I said the guy who is crippled –that would be you – hasn't placed an order yet, correct?"

"As I guest, I don't think I deserve that treatment, do you sir?"

"And I think madam deserves something better than a geeky bald little runt in a wheelchair. Maybe something with a plumage for example"

Penelope felt incredibly uncomfortable with being thrown into the verbal battle that had erupted right on her table. She then felt a hand upon the small of her back, and she was certain that this rude, obnoxious waiter was the guy whose hand that was.

"I think my lady has intelligence enough to pick who is good enough for her to be with…and if a 'bald little runt' is better than you, what does that say?"

"It…it doesn't…" Sebastian went bright red, with a mixture of anger and embarrassment; NOT AGAIN! He'd already been bested by one scrawny little creature, but now by another…in a wheelchair. No, no more! His arm swung out at Bentley, but the teched-out chair has to two new articles for use, and two robotic hands leaped from the machine, catching Sebastian's hand and holding it firm. This wasn't enough however, and Sebastian's other hand launched out at the turtle, catching him squarely on the face. Penelope, holding the wine bottle firmly in her hand, pressed it to the back of Sebastian's head, and he went slightly cold.

"Back away from my turtle!"

"HA! That's what they all say Madam…"

"Penelope – that's my name, and use it wisely!"

""Well then, Penelope. They all say 'leave him alone', 'I'll never go with you', all that stuff. It's a lie. I make SO much money off of ladies like you who come in, all high on their own honour and their boyfriends' affection. I make up to five figures an evening! I do it because it's just a knack I have. I mean, what's the point of having something like these looks if all you're going to use it for just 'the good thing' right? You make enough off it anyways. And that is why you're gonna leave this jerk, and you and me we're gonna get a room and you get the time of your life and I get some extra digits!"

"Not on my watch" came the American Raccoon who filled Sebastian's face with bruises and scars from before.

Penelope lowered the bottle, as Bentley turned to see his old friend. They both flashed a smile to each other, before each locking their eyes back onto this fiendish waiter boy.

Sly took a step closer, so him and Sebastian literally had their toes touching. Sebastian tried puffing up to make himself look bigger, but he was still far away from the physical power and presence of Sly.

"I thought you'd learnt from last time? Or are you looking for a broken beak to match your broken sense of understanding?"

"Big words, big man! This is between me, Penelope, and this pathetic invalid!"…

Penelope suddenly lost focus of the place she was in. There was stuff Sebastian had said that just seemed to speak to her and the situation. True, he was repulsively arrogant and had a brain as thick as mud, but he had a point: what was the point in having such an attribute if you're just going to use it to barely get by? I mean, Bentley had this serious mind, but he seemed so unwilling to do so much. A criminal genius with a deep moral conscience, oh oxymoronic! There must be a reason why…

Penelope snapped out of her haze, just in time to watch Bentley's wheelchair arms put the final slap down on Sebastian, who was laying completely beaten up on the floor. The guests had all cleared to avoid injury, and soon after the geek-smack down, Carmelita was immediately on scene and putting the cuffs on Sebastian

"OK Captain…I mean 'darling', hehe' she said "I'm just gonna take statements from witnesses and try and find payment records. If this guy was paid for getting involved with this, every big cash transaction in his bank account we can do him for – BIG TIME!" She quickly marched off to talk to people. As soon as she was gone, Sly came out of the policeman act, and sharply cracked his foot into the Peacock's jaw.

"NOBODY calls my best friend an invalid like that!"

"And NOBODY tries to take my girlfriend like that!"

The pair of thieves from long ago turned to face each other, before engaging in a massive high-five. Sly then turned to Penelope, fresh from thoughts. He gave the biggest, most open smile he could, pulling her to him and hugging him in the best way – in the way only a brother could give a hug. And then she realised: the reason why Bentley had made so little of his life…he'd been attached to this man! The man had applied him to petty 'honourable' crimes. All the development for the time-machine had been done just to prove it could be done, with no intention of actual use! A years worth of work, and all that had been done was the newly designed Cooper Vault and a prototype time-machine that would never be used. A year that she and Bentley would never get back…and all because of that Raccoon!

Again, Penelope came back from her thoughts. Sly and Bentley seemed as happy as ever. Just as Sly left to leave, he turned back to us.

"Bentley, Penelope. I never forgot you guys. Carmelita's going to be busy all night booking that waiter guy and getting the guy who owns this place for questioning. Do any of you guys fancy a drink?"

"No thanks Sly" Penelope said, 'politely' (when her feelings were anything but polite) "Me and Bentley have a bit of work to do"

"Oh come Sly! You know I can never finish a beer" Bentley equally insisted.

"Neither can I Bentley. But if ever need a hand with one, call me".

Bentley and Penelope turned to one another, Bentley enthusiastic and Penelope…less so…

So later that night, as Bentley kissed her to sleep, Penelope was awake and angry. For the first time in her life, she was angry at the ones she loved! Sly took her and Bentley to a cheap old pub, where Bentley needed Sly's help finishing his only pint, giving Sly the sum total of four pints of bitter. She sat and watched as she looked at where all their skills had led them: sitting in a cheap pub, drinking bad tasting beer – nothing like the French or British standards – and with one of them being so "noble" as to finish his drink so to help him avoid embarrassment. Yeah? Well NO MORE!

With an angry heart, heavy fingers and sad eyes, Penelope found herself doing the unspeakable: she was uploading an advert upon the black market, selling the designs for the time-machine to an interested investor. She hesitated slightly before pressing the button to publish: she told herself she was doing it for Bentley to make it easier.

Soon after this, she had a very enthusiastic reply…


End file.
